Finding Your Footing When Life Pulls the Rug Out | The Rock Bottom Paradox
- Martin Foster
- Nov 25
- 5 min read
When the Map Disappears
Have you ever had a moment where the ground beneath you just seemed to vanish? One minute, you know exactly where you’re going, what the plan is, and who you are. The next, the map has been torn up, and you’re standing in a landscape you don’t recognise at all.
It’s a disorienting, often terrifying feeling. In the hustle of professional life, on LinkedIn especially, we see a lot of the peaks, the promotions, the successful exits, the shiny new ventures. We don’t talk nearly enough about the valleys. But the truth is, most of us will face a moment that feels like "rock bottom" at some point in our lives.
Whether it hits you suddenly, like a punch to the gut when you least expect it, or creeps up slowly, draining your spirit over months or years, the impact is the same. You feel lost. You feel directionless. And quite frankly, you might feel like everything you’ve worked for has evaporated.
I’m writing this today because I’ve been there. Not just observing it from the safety of a textbook or a seminar, but truly in the thick of it. And I want to share the very first lesson from my 52 Weeks from Rock Bottom to Extraordinary course, because I believe that knowing how to navigate the dark is the first step to building a truly extraordinary light.
The Reality of Loss and the "G" Word
Let’s be real for a moment. When you’re in that difficult place, what you are experiencing is a profound sense of loss.
We tend to reserve the word "grief" for funerals. We think it only applies when a person passes away. But life has taught me, through some very hard-won wisdom, that grief is simply the human reaction to losing anything significant. It could be the loss of a business you poured your soul into. It could be the end of a relationship, the loss of a home, or even just the loss of a future you thought was guaranteed.
When that certainty is taken away, it hurts. You might feel despair, anger, fear, or a sadness that seems to have no bottom. I’ve felt every single one of those emotions. And I want you to know that if you are feeling them right now, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re human, and you are processing a change that matters.
You might recognise the stages. First, there’s the shock—that strange numbness where you go through the motions, making tea and answering emails as if nothing has happened. Then comes the denial, that little voice whispering, "It’s just a blip, it’ll all be back to normal by Monday." (I remember that stage vividly; the human brain is excellent at trying to protect us from pain.)
Then, inevitably, comes the raw stuff. The guilt. The "what ifs." You might find yourself replaying decisions at 3 a.m., blaming yourself for things that were likely out of your control. You might feel angry, at the economy, at a partner, or even at yourself. And eventually, you might just want to withdraw and hide away from the world.
I share this not to bring you down, but to validate where you might be. Because you cannot navigate a map if you don’t admit where you’re starting from.
The Pivot Point: Acceptance and Opportunity
Here is the most vital insight I can offer you from my own journey back from the edge: the goal isn't to "fix" the past. The goal is acceptance.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Acceptance isn’t about liking the situation. It’s not about pretending it’s all sunshine and rainbows. It is simply acknowledging the truth of the moment. It is saying, "This…right here, right now…is my new normal."
When you stop fighting reality, something magical happens. You stop wasting your energy on resistance and start reclaiming your energy for rebuilding. That was the turning point for me. It was the moment I realised I wasn’t a victim of my past; I was the architect of my future.
There is a paradox in hitting rock bottom. It feels like the end, but it holds a hidden gift. When the slate is wiped clean, even if you didn’t ask for it to be, you have an incredible opportunity. You get to decide what goes back on the slate. You can shed the habits, the roles, and the obligations that no longer serve you. You can build a life that is far more aligned with who you truly are, rather than who you thought you were supposed to be.
Four Gentle Steps to Find Your Ground
If you are navigating a tough transition or feeling like you’re at the bottom of a steep climb, here are four practical steps to help you start moving forward.
1. Feel the Feelings (Don’t Skip the Messy Part) In business, we are taught to be efficient. We want to solve the problem and move on. But you cannot "project manage" your emotions away. Don’t gloss over how you feel. It is going to be messy, but feeling those emotions is necessary for healing. The process isn’t a straight line; it twists and turns. Trust that by feeling it, you are moving through it.
2. Lean on Your Support Team When we fail or struggle, our instinct is often to hide because of shame. We don't want people to see us when we aren't winning. Fight that instinct. You are not alone. Reach out to friends, family, or trusted colleagues. You will be surprised to find that almost everyone has faced their own version of rock bottom. Let them support you. A cup of tea and a listening ear can work wonders.
3. Seek Professional Perspectives There is immense strength in asking for help. I have found incredible value in seeking professional support, whether that’s a therapist, a counsellor, or a mentor. Talking to someone who specialises in navigating these waters can give you tools you didn’t know existed. It’s like hiring a guide for a trek; you’re still doing the walking, but they know the safest path.
4. Flip the Script This is the hardest step, but the most powerful. Try to shift your internal language. Instead of asking, "Why is this happening to me?" try to adopt the belief that "Rock bottom didn't happen to you; it happened for you." This simple mindset shift moves you from the passenger seat into the driver's seat. It forces you to look for the lesson and the opportunity in the rubble.
Your Extraordinary Future Awaits
The climb from rock bottom isn’t like scaling a single mountain peak; it’s more like traversing a whole range. There will be ups and downs, peaks and valleys. But if you carry the lessons from the lows, they become the foundation for the highs.
I am a firm believer that within every setback lies the seed of an even greater comeback. You have the resilience within you to face whatever this week throws your way. Be kind to yourself, take it one step at a time, and remember: you are building the foundation for an extraordinary life.
If this resonated with you, or if you feel like you need a roadmap to help you navigate from where you are to where you want to be, I’d love to help guide you.
My course, 52 Weeks from Rock Bottom to Extraordinary, is designed to be that companion on your journey.
Why not pop over to my website to learn more, or book a free discovery call with me? Let’s chat about getting you back on the path to abundance.
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