Stop Carrying the Weight - How to Finally Forgive and Move On

Do You Feel Exhausted by Things That Happened Years Ago?

Let's be honest: are you carrying dead weight today?

I don't mean a bulky briefcase or a pile of work documents. I mean the emotional weight—the heavy residue of resentment, that bitter taste of injustice, or the relentless, nagging guilt over a past mistake you made.

It’s often these unseen burdens, the grudges we clutch onto and the past choices we beat ourselves up about, that leave us utterly knackered even before the working day begins. We spend huge amounts of mental energy replaying old tapes, fighting old battles, and hoping someone else will finally feel the pain we’ve been feeling.

But here’s the rub: that person, or that situation, has probably moved on. You are the only one still serving the sentence. And that emotional drain? That is the single greatest block to building the extraordinary life you’re aiming for.

The Story: The Sledge on the Summit Hike

Think about your entrepreneurial journey like a challenging hike to a mountain summit. The climb is tough, the air is thin, but the view from the top (your goal) promises to be breathtaking—true freedom and achievement.

Now, imagine you strap a massive, heavy, empty sledge to your waist using a cumbersome rope.

What is that sledge dragging along behind you? It’s filled with the unforgiven past. It’s the client who never paid you, the deal that went sour, the colleague who betrayed your trust, or the self-criticism over your lack of confidence years ago.

As you hike, every single step is unnecessarily draining. You’re not just carrying your own weight; you’re dragging the emotional baggage of the past, churning up the trail behind you. The sledge gets caught on rocks, forcing you to stop and backtrack, wasting precious time and energy.

The moment you realise that forgiveness is simply unhitching the sledge—whether it’s forgiving a past business partner, a deeply frustrating setback, or your younger, mistake-making self—the lighter and faster you climb. You haven't forgotten the challenging terrain, but you've stopped hauling the literal burden. You free up all that precious mental energy and focus it back where it belongs: on reaching your peak.

Forgiveness is a Non-Negotiable Mindset Tool

In the journey outlined in The Rock Bottom Paradox, we talk about forgiveness not as a moral obligation, but as a powerful, practical step in freeing yourself. It is a core tenet of the Extraordinary Mindset—the ability to turn adversity into opportunity.

Why is it so vital for entrepreneurs and professionals? Because resentment creates scarcity.

When you’re stuck in unforgiveness, your energy is focused on what was taken from you. You’re living in a zero-sum game, constantly looking over your shoulder. That’s a scarcity mindset, and it absolutely kills creativity, risk-taking, and the ability to spot new opportunities.

Forgiveness, conversely, unlocks abundance. It says: "The past event cost me X, but I am now so focused on creating Y that I don't have the time or energy to re-mourn the loss. I choose to be bigger than the event."

It's important to understand what forgiveness truly is, and what it isn't. It’s often misunderstood as letting someone off the hook, but that’s far from the truth. Forgiveness is a strategic act of self-preservation:

• Forgiveness is not excusing bad behaviour; it is accepting the reality of what happened.

• Forgiveness is not condoning the hurt they caused; it is releasing the power that hurt holds over you.

• Forgiveness is not reconciling the relationship; it is refocusing your energy on your present.

• Forgiveness is not a feeling you wait for; it is a deliberate decision you make.

The most important act of forgiveness? The one you show to the person staring back at you in the mirror. We are often our own harshest critics, beating ourselves up over a bad investment, a missed opportunity, or a poor decision made years ago. To achieve extraordinary things, you need to forgive the former you for not knowing what the current you knows. It is absolutely spot on.

Gentle Steps to Unburden Yourself

Ready to unhitch that sledge and start climbing lighter? Here are four practical, down-to-earth ways to practice the freedom of forgiveness:

1. The 'I Release' Declaration

Forgiveness starts with a deliberate, audible declaration. This isn't faff; it's a profound mental commitment. You are speaking to your own heart, making a contract with yourself to move forward.

• Action: Find a quiet space. Say the name of the person or the situation you’re holding onto, and then say aloud: "I forgive you for the hurt you caused me. I release this situation, and I reclaim my energy." You do not need them to be present.

2. Write the Letter You Never Send

Resentment often comes from feeling unheard. Writing helps empty the emotional pressure cooker, giving the anger a place to go that isn't inside your own head.

• Action: Write a long, honest letter to the person or entity involved. Detail all the anger, pain, and frustration. Get it all out. When you're finished, sign it, and then destroy it immediately (shred it, delete it, or burn it safely). The energy is released, but the letter is never sent, ensuring the action remains solely for your benefit.

3. Forgive the You on the Bonnet

Think about the time you made that big mistake—the decision that cost you money, time, or trust. You wouldn't yell at a child who fell over, so stop punishing your past self. This exercise is about compassion.

• Action: Picture your younger self sitting on the bonnet of an old car, looking miserable about the mistake they just made. Go up to them, put your hand on their shoulder, and say gently: "You did your best with the knowledge you had. I forgive you completely. Now let's move on."

4. The 30-Second Grudge Check

We often hold onto small grudges that flare up in the middle of a busy day, derailing our focus. You need a system to halt these intrusive thoughts quickly.

• Action: The next time a small, irritating past memory pops into your head, stop. Acknowledge the thought, and mentally say, "Not today." Then, immediately and deliberately shift your focus to what you are grateful for right now. This is a subtle yet powerful technique to train your brain to default to abundance over bitterness.

What Next?

Forgiveness is the ultimate act of self-care. It’s the courageous choice to stop letting yesterday’s events steal the joy and potential of your future. It's the moment you choose freedom over burden, and it is a non-negotiable step toward becoming truly extraordinary.

The world doesn't slow down for our grudges. It only rewards the people who are light, focused, and ready to sprint toward their goals. Unhitch the sledge. The mountain summit is waiting.

Ready to get strategic about your success and build an unshakeable, abundant mindset?

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